Me being cruel

I was at school, and then something was happening in the main square, everyone had gathered around something and I of course too joined in to see what was going on. In the process I saw this beautiful black haired and freckled boy from school, but he had a big white cowlick of hair.

Then I finally made it to where the people was gathered, I never saw what was going on, but as people started to disperse, I saw Sebastian. He was just standing there, lifting his shirt up to his abs. He was wearing black boxers with a gray waistband. this other boy that was beside him, touched his boxers and asked if he ever wore briefs, and Esteban answered very firmly: "I always wear boxers"Just as he said this, I then took a closer look to his abs, he was still slim and his waist was deliciously tiny, but his skin wasn’t skin… it was smooth and clear, it was rougher and weird, then to realize it was sculpted in wood... then I woke up.

Then I was thinking in my way home, that maybe the reason why I’m alone, is because most people I know, think... that they are ok, I mean, they have been taught all their life’s, that they are ok. that wasn’t my case, my parents were both young and profound persons, that taught me that neither the world nor myself are ok, that things can always be better, that things can be perfect... maybe I’m just to screwed up, maybe I’m damaged, and maybe that’s why I need someone who doesn’t feel so ok, but just as damaged... I need someone who I can be damaged with.

This girl from collage, who I really find very shallow and emotionally impaired, wanted to come to my place after classes. I somehow said that it was ok. But I regretted it almost instantly... all the way from the campus to the -let’s call it- subway, I was thinking rapidly on a way to ditch her on the way.... I know I’m an antisocial bastard, but I just didn’t want her home, I wished someone would call on the cellphone so I could make an excuse; I imagined just pushing her to the train tracks and disappear.... Fortunately, she asked what I was going to do at home, and I very honestly answered: "well, I wanted to get some sleep but...." I didn’t another word until we reached the station.

She must have noticed the look on my face, like if I was being forced to eat a big slug or my rude silence and evil glares at her, or even caught me mouthing "I don’t like you, I hate you, I DONT WANT YOU IN MY HOME!” because she suddenly said good bye and told me she was heading home...

She is what I would call a not very cute and somehow overweight bimbo... so yes I was miserable and antisocial, but I can’t remember being so relieved to be alone.

Anyway, the feeling lasted very little... as the "subway” was packed=  and I stood there for about 25 minutes waiting for a train with at least enough space for me and my clothes and when I finally got in... I had to stand right in front of thief disgusting man; he had a lot of nose hair and a mole on his cheek the size of a memorial coin that too was growing hair on its own.... I feel sick again just remembering....

While trying to keep myself from vomiting, I couldn’t help thinking how this world was indeed damaged.... filled with filthy muggles. But then when leaving the subway the most gorgeous brunette tall and paled skin girl passed beside me....

 Sometimes the world, doesn’t matter how broken, still shows signs of wanting to come back together. 

(1 day late)