what is it about me?

I met someone, another sexually confused 15 y/o, - what is it about me?- he seems more mature than the last one, he is Emo obsessed which is a big improvement… but knows nothing about my fetishes, is it something I should tell him at first or just let him discover. He is out of town for Easter, but he seems like it could be something serious, more than a fling… am I actually considering a relationship? I’m a loner! I’ve always been a loner… I don’t even believe in love, I haven’t sustained a relationship with anyone over the years! Is it crazy to think now I can have a relationship with someone? 

I need to stay focused on the goal

“Miracle: a happy coincidence”

(33 days late)

And a sensual neglect will come at the end.

 

Friday 3 am

A blue Saturday fever and a Sunday without sadness.

You avoid your heart and blow up your head,

And in your voice, just a pale goodbye

And the watch in your wrist stroke the three.

 

The dream of a sun and a sea and a dangerous life

Changing the bitter for honey and the grey city for roses

It does you good, as it does you wrong

It makes you hate, as it makes you love and more.

 

You changed of time and love, music and ideas

You changed of sex and God, color and frontiers

But in essence, you won't change anything else

And a sensual neglect will come at the end.

 

And you take the tube to your head pressing the teeth

And you close your eyes and you see all the sea in spring

Bang, bang, bang, dead leaves that fall,

Always the same, those who can't go on will leave.