Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Here I am with my pants down to my ankles writing again

Here I am with my pants down to my ankles writing again, I don’t know why. 
I had this unbelievable dream, with Daniel, one of the guys I hang around in school, he is really skinny and has this tan, and well, he is not very cute, but has a very nice body built, when I see the waist band of his boxer briefs at school it just gives me this feeling. Last night I had this dream where I was at school with my 'gang', and suddenly I turn back and Daniel is kissing this other very tall guy which I don’t find very cute, kissing, passionately, I was so shocked that I turned to tell Aiacos, but he was not surprised at all, he told me that he knew Daniel was ameinian from a long time ago. I was still more shocked and then without thinking, I just went over Daniel, and whispered him I was bisexual, I’m not sure if he heard me but then suddenly James, another guy form school was now openly ameinian too. With my head spinning I just went straight to Daniel again and kneeled before him, and told him to show me his underwear. then there is some spacing because later I’m kneeled before James he has his pants to his ankles and I’m holding his orange and gray boxer briefs down to the knees and I look at the underwear a second and close my eyes, I don’t dare to look at his balls. I don’t want to, I feel kind of nauseous... then we are all sitting right beside the basket court and there is Ana Maria and another girl I know, (I think is someone I know though I’m not sure) and they are talking to each other, at my side is Daniel, he is excited and as talking me about being ameinian and Ivan is kind of supporting him, though he is quite the homophobe in real life, but I’m not listening to them, I just keep staring at Ana Maria and wish so much to join their conversation. Then he stands up and goes towards the buildings and shouts something I can’t remember right now… I just know it made sense.
God knows there are right now three cuties in my school, I can’t stop looking at, and they are all from sixth grade. The first one is the one his classmates call by the most horrible nick ever, so I call him Sebastian.  He is just so god damn good looking. He’s got blond -light brown hair, these amazing blueish eyes, perfect build, and his face is just so cute, he is always looking good. besides is kind of a bully at school, I’m almost sure he wears briefs because his underwear waistband never showing, and the other time I was walking up the stirs when I saw him coming shirtless from the corridor downstairs, I wanted to see but I was with James and Ivan, and had to remind myself not to stare (another reason why I want them to know) he is just the reason for me to go to school. The other cutie pie is the opposite, also very skinny and great body built but he is always with the big school jacket on, though that makes him such a great little god when I get to see him just wearing his shirt. He has ebony black hair and dark brown eyes (but I’m not sure sometimes they look like they are dark gray) with long eyelashes and has the most beautiful freckled face ever, his smile is just way to cute, but best of all is his voice is just so filled with childhood, Sebastian has a gorgeous voice too… but his is just spectacular. Besides unlike Sebastian he looks like one of this mature boys that I like so much. On third place is this cute boy, who has the cutest face and eyes and tiny cute nose but he is overweight I think, but he is just so cute can't help but I keep staring at him, his face is just perfect. Maybe he is not over weight but has like a kind of big boned.
I'll try to take a picture of the boys, damn they are so cute.
To end this shallow entry I’m must say that I feel lonely; I can’t even keep a cyber-bully. - If anybody is interested just contact me I just need someone close even if is just for a kiss or wedgie - (look at me! asking for someone online... pathetic).



(21 days late)

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Again I can’t believe I got a free day at school and I have got nothing to do... it already 8:30 and I haven’t done anything. Well now I think about it I do have Harry Potter 5 to read, but for some reason I don’t want to keep on reading. I guess the story has become too depressing, harry is constantly sad and constantly worried (though I’m only in chapter 11, many of his feeling are just too familiar to me. and I have got to say, that I hate Ron Wesley with all my heart is just so... so... annoying. The book in general has just become another way of suffering with the world, I mean I already deal with those feelings every day I don’t want to get home and continue wallowing in them.
That is so pathetic of me, complaining about my relationship... with a book. 
then there is just this cute boy from 6th grade that is so cute and gorgeous and on Tuesday I saw him shirtless :P, I’m getting obsessed with him, all I think about in school is him, I just keep looking for him everywhere, he is really beautiful. I guess that is my only reason to keep going to school, though I just keep reminding me "don’t stare, don’t stare..." and that for me is so…
Depressing. 

(130 days late)