"Eloi, Eloi lama ... sabachtani"
These are the favorite words of those attributed to Jesus of Nazareth to Xag. In his own words, "they are of the few spoken by him that touch a sensitive fiber deep within my soul."
This was what he said to me during the so-called: Holy Week, this is what a billion or so Catholics commemorate. Of course, while thousands gather in churches or processions during Holy Friday, Santiago decided to see for the first time the Passion of Christ on DVD.
For many, it would tedious and boring, but Xag is already accustomed to staying at home during the holidays. He thinks one does not need to go out for fun, on the outside he thinks there's nothing for him, He really wants to be a child, and he never was one. I understand it, for sure in another life I was like him.
From the same moment he came out of class that Friday, Santiago was determined to make this Easter every bit different than any previous one. I heard him talking to himself while walking (as he did often) - "I'm going to devote myself solely to my book," he seemed convicted as he say it, but then again, so had he said so every Friday, for 2 years now. Strength faded in the eternal now and never concreted.
Santiago, or Xag as he was called by friends long, long, ago has dreamed of being a writer since the eighth grade, even before understanding what it was it meant entirely. It was not until he saw Harry Potter 3 that he understood. It was not until that moment when the movie ended, in the dark theater that he finally assimilated as his destiny.
"It’s the book or suicide."
That the thought that haunt him usually after leaving the shower, soaked and fully clothed, when he sees his face in the mirror.
In November 2003 Santiago reached for the first notebook he found, that meaning, the most battered and old he had - and knew which were the characters of his story, filled with excitement, he dreamed of them that night and the months that followed... some unfortunate attempts to start failed miserably until a special night. The computer was turned on late and suddenly the words came, there was yet another moment of illumination ... The first page of his book was written that night.
Since then he has been writing continuously, writing about his characters, writing various scenes, as well as some dialogue. He wrote several chapters, developing a complex story, full of surprises and betrayals and death. I was all set up, until one day in December 2004, he read it...
"It was rubbish," He says with complete honesty "all but the first page I wrote a year ago, its garbage"
On Wednesday of Holy Week, Xag thought back on that night… he thought back on everything he had written and thought about everything that had not written, He then recalled his illusory claims to his classmates when he was fifteen. "I'm traveling and writing my book ... I do not think I will got to collage if I finish the first book for next year"
During the last days of Easter, his family traveled to Villa de Leiva, he decided to stay and was repeated again what he said on Friday. "I am going to devote solely to my book" But on Friday he had learned that ... a new Knights of the Zodiac game was out for the PlayStation 2, and that they had spent $ 11,000usd on plants for the construction of scenarios of the new Superman movie and saw the passion of Christ skipping the flogging scene.
On Thursday he sat 12 hours on the computer, after having slept another 12, he was glad to learn that t.A.T.u is recording a new album in Los Angeles, saw for the nineteenth time trailer for the new Batman movie. Instant messaged for an hour with people that are either far away, homosexuals or masochistic.
On Saturday, he decided to rest from the computer, drawing for a long time a deep blue-eyed boy he daydreamed, and then reorganized its action figures with special care of the "Capita Ray" figure which is valued at $ 2000usd, and finally saw Tim Burton's Batman and Batman Returns for the 20th time.
By Sunday, the family had returned, and took refuge in his room to watch a marathon of the Trial of Michael Jackson.
"Like the Sphinx when it lost its nose” he whispers when asked how he feels. But then he smiled at me to repeat what I said before "is the book or suicide"
It was a boring week for everyone, even for him. And tortures himself and wonders "why is his life is not more?" he is upset and knows that he will lie on Monday to his classmates, and say that he traveled to Villa de Leiva. Finally, it is comforting to think that he is a romantic, that life is more, and that in another life he will no longer be the same.
(3 days late)
