I’m tired of me being bisexual, ugly, depressive, neurotic, ugly, sick, and numb

I’m tired of me being bisexual, ugly, depressive, neurotic, ugly, sick, and numb, rejected…. Now it seems all I need is love, from a boyfriend, from a girlfriend, from a true friend, from a loving pet, from a Tamagotchi, from a plant, from me. Could my life be anymore pathetic, guys my age doing really great stuff, and I am barely passing through high school. It’s not fair. 

But, why is not fair? It’s my fault after all. 

I met this boy. He is form my school bus, and has this strange cuteness, he is not my style, but he’s got a fine body and lovely arms, big eyes, and speaks in such a beautiful way… I had a crush on him. Today I talked to him… and… he is a jerk or at least that what I saw… I am disappointed. Maybe it was my fault… what “maybe”? It was my fault, I didn’t act as I am, and provoked the wrong behavior on him, and I was the jerk