I'm tired of pretending to be something I am not, I am not an artist no matter how mush I’d like to be one.... I don't have the knack for it, the eye to it... I lack education in it... I am destined to be file clerk... it doesn't particularly bother me as login as I get a nice apartment and cable TV...
I can be content.
I am willing to... no grandeur, no glory... no art; just life where I can be lazy and comfortable.
Pride is killing me... art is so pretentious... and I'm already lazy to be that pretentious. I need just one capital sin to define me, having two is exhausting... oh so exhausting...
... I have this feeling....
Something is wrong, something I can’t precisely put my finger on...
It happened again today.
I was eating lunch, and all the sudden I started crying, this is not healthy.
but I don't really know why is it, I don't know what's going through my mind except this feeling of frustrated dreams... some sort of exhaustion from creation that leads nowhere...
(6 days late)
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