Non-sense

Non-sense, bad grammar and terrible syntax...

I feel can do more, so much more and somehow I just don’t. This feeling of constant auto sabotage is wearing me out... tearing my soul apart.

While I’ve managed to convince myself to stay alive, I find now that during a lot of time I’ve just accomplished this by getting myself stuck, sinking deeper and deeper in the mud until I’m not moving at all.

So many plans... and somehow they just never happened. And I know I shouldn’t complain... but damn, that’s pretty much all I can do for myself right now, it just seems wiser to get an overall look at my life and cry, than just keep on living numb to the situation. Now self-pity won’t solve any problem, I know that... what I don’t know is exactly what the problem is...

This guy offered me the chance to be in one of his clips, I kind of avoided him all week... firstly because I’ve felt really monstrous and I wasn’t  in mood of being in front of a camera, but besides that there was my recurrent fear that will somehow let down people once they know me.

I manage to spend my time imagining, day dreaming nonsense, obsessing over meaningless maters...

I've deleted so many people from my contact list... somehow I stopped emailing with all the people I was emailing with.

I am broke, and with that all that comes with it. Secondly I’m unemployed yet I’m working my ass of doing favors for absolutely nothing in return.

I’m worried my mail is not reaching me, but living in Colombia it shouldn’t be a surprise...

Gruesome news lately 11 deputies murdered by the FARC... they were probably corrupt to the bone, but still. 

Days are passing so quickly and I’m doing anything... 

(29 days late)