There are a lot of things in my mind…
I’m not sure how to start
Today I caught a special on the minds of serial killers… and well, here it goes… I was fascinated by some cases. Honestly the cases where guys around my age were murdered.
I’ve always known I’ve had a soft spot for this sort of acts on boys, I don’t know why, they appeal to me, I find them beautiful. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any contact with anyone, and I really don’t desire any… but the mental image, of torturing some… creatures… is appealing.
This woman presenting the show, the policeman and the parents of the victims and basically everyone… they were all puzzled, confused and outraged about the murders, and all it though was “I get it!” “I understand why”… I’m terrified by this… I don’t know if actually feeling this makes me one of these persons, but when I was seeing the pictures of the BTK killer victims… I understood I secretly wished to see pictures of the crime scene….
Oh my god, I just confessed to the world I could be a potential serial killer… But should I change this? probably not, I have a right to be attracted to whatever it is in the world. But I understand clearly that fantasies should stay in my fantasy world… in my writings, in my books… they are not to be mixed with the gray reality and all I can say is, I promise I’ll never act on it. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I’m too afraid of skipping a red flag, I won’t be able to actually committing a crime… I think…
(9 days late)
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