Alone

As a flashback, yesterday at lunch I remembered, a three day field trip I did with my schoolmates in sixth grade, it had been buried in my mind for a long time...

It was a cute 12 years old, with some serious problems... I would not let myself be happy, and when I knew of that trip, there was no exception. I didn’t want to go and I made a boring face the entire trip... yet what I remember most about that experience was my rush on Cloud 9 and how I was always trying to be with her...

I also remember the other boys in my class... they were very happy. I remember Simon... he was so extroverted, and care free... I remember him being pushed into the pool and being totally soaked. I remembered how girls looked at him (geez, how pathetic is this getting). Anyway, I did get to spend a big deal of time with the girls and my "friends".

I also remember we went rafting, and I didn’t want to do it... and they practically forced me to do it... it was great of course. It was an opportunity. There in that trip I could have done stuff… kissed her. Jump in.

My point here is, how many times have I had great opportunities and by some reason not make them a great experience. Am, I just too dull to be happy...

why couldn’t I be excited about stuff, y couldn’t I be eager to do things that are so much fun...why am I alone, when there has been so many people in my life that could make it so much better.

Why am I alone... all the time?

The truth is that I’ve had all the material to have written myself a great happy life, I’ve had the opportunities the people, the experiences, yet all I seem to make put of them is something to be forgotten.

I learned my parents met in a funeral, how Goth is that? I was born in kind of wealthy opus die family, I’m a Virgo... I went to one of the most exclusive special schools in the country, it was hidden in the mountains and had river by its side.

I had the chance to be in a classic British boarding school for a glorious summer, I visited most rural places in my country, my family owns a retired country house in the middle of nowhere surrounded by mountains, with every luxury u can imagine...

I have twin sisters, that are into-Goth-metal. I love design.

The first book I read was "the riders of eternity"... I’m into superheroes, I’m into magic... I had a Saint Seiya - Pokémon- Harry Potter packed schooldays....

I went to one of the oldest tradition schools in the country (350yrs old... and it’s also right next to a cemetery). I have fallen in crush-love with a girl and with a boy.... I have car I can’t drive and a computer in my room.

I‘ve been into the DC Universe since I can remember, I love to write, and I’ve been writing a book for a year and a half... and I’m still on the first chapter. I have imaginary friends, I believe in god...

Yet now... that my life has gone where it’s supposed to go... I am alone... I am bored...

(142 days late)