The idea of suicide has come back to mind, fortunately was defeated with the idea of escape. I think it all started with The Lord of the Rings, when I read these stories I am can't help feeling unhappy with my life.
I 'm being decadent, smoking a cigarette in a corner at the table. I hate everything I am, what I think, what I like. I'm acting like a drunk depressed middle aged man when I have no reason to be, and could leave the room and watch a movie with my mom ... but I don’t feel like it, I just want to relax and clear my mind(who would say I'm on vacation) what is happening to me? For now I just want to practice my typewriting, it’s a bit slow and I need to improve it... maybe if I keep practicing…
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