I lost myself

I lost myself, and I don't know who I am again, how is it possible so recently I was so sure of being Xag...

 I doubt it now, not completely, but it is strange... I don’t know what it is. What is it I'm supposed to be? What I should do? Something simply got lost.

As usual Obsidian is angry with me, and keeps calling me "faggot" (which no longer bothers me as much, or so I think) A horrible feeling came back, I remember when I wasn’t Tilatá. I woke up feeling like wanting to die and just fuck everything to hell. It's a horrible feeling is just pure and absolute sadness and fatigue combined into a single feeling of ending the world, no one can have a good day after waking up that way. Awaking with a thought like "Please god help me!" Is pretty strange, I had not talked to Him in a while, as if I had needed for a very long time. I feel so helpless and just know that something is missing... just not sure what…

(6 days late)