People are under the delusion that misery comes out of confusion, of being alone in the dark and not knowing where to go... that’s not misery at all... misery come from seeing it all.. And not being able to change course... misery comes from determination...
I am miserable because I reached a point where I know I’m going to fall. It’s there in complete plain sight and I stumble down... I’m numb... I’m stupid... smart people never feel stupid... I feel so stupid... so stupid...
I’m doomed to stay alone in the muddy road... I’m destined, to stay alone drowning in the middle of the lake... I’m condemned to stay in the hole in the dirt... and never get out...
I am definitely standing still, while the world passes by...
Today I broke a little more...
I’m nauseous... Sleepy... And have knot in my throat... I feel a panic attack coming…
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