Mourning a past that never was

Mourning a past that never was, is one of the main reasons I’ll never be happy. I can sit hours thinking and dwelling on what-if's, maybe-if-I-had’s and I-wish-I-would-have. I even day dream constantly, to the point of having to sit down an just do nothing else, about the possibility of just going back in time, with all this knowledge I have now of the things I’ve lived, and be 10 again... and just do all those things I know I should have done.

I forgot today to sign up for the subject I’m taking in collage... and I’m screwed... I’ll probably end up having a nightmare of a schedule... I don’t want to be early in the mornings again... but seems like I have no choice... I can hear already my mom’s lecture on the subject... "But if you are not doing anything! How can you forget to do something... when you have absolutely nothing else to do?”

I think bisexuality should be considered from now on as the perpetual state of sexual confusion.

I feel anxious… and anxiety goes hand in hand with depression...

I keep having dreams about people from school. Gosh, why, I don’t want to think about school anymore.

(20 days late)