This is my boy, my baby, my angel.

This is my boy, my baby, my angel. He is... the reason why tears don’t cloud my sight, the dream that keeps me alive through the night, the image that lets my soul soar into the light.

This is my boy, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, but the one I’ll never have, and I hate him for that. And I envy him, his beauty and happiness; I envy him as I never envied anyone before. But he is still my fantasy, my dream, my desire, I want him, I LOVE him. And I can’t stop thinking about him.

And believe it or not, it’s not usually the actual sex act I think about. It's the sound of his laughter, the music in his voice. I think of the anticipation in his eyes and the beauty of his smile. I imagine the warmth of his body, the excitement in his soul and the softness of his lips when he kisses you on the cheek.

Love is not wrong and people need to understand that is love is what I feel for this boy.

Living with the fact that you will always be alone is hard. Knowing that you can only, for your own safety, have a one-side love affair is very hard.

I know all I can do is love him from afar and just try to enjoy the simple pleasures of this boys beautiful charms

(72 days late)