I missed you today

I missed you today, I missed you, yes you who you are.... I missed you so much; I had to contain my tears several times. I was empty without you; I was lost without you...

No music, no song was good enough to take you of my mind... I had lie again because of you, because the emptiness is so big it was unbearable... I had to lie, to make up a story so I could hide the immense shame, that you are not here by my side, that I haven’t found you.

I made you up... and to make it worse I killed you to explain your absence…

(11 days late)

I don't think it shows

Since about two years ago... I somehow decided I don’t need to show who I am to anyone, I am who I am, so there had to be no need to just shout it to everyone.

So I turned completely... "Asexual" don’t know if that’s the right term... I wear baggy, dark clothes, not black... just nothing red or orange or yellow... everything normal... I don’t put much attention to my hair or to my appearance in general.

to be honest its worked... sometimes I wonder if maybe it’s worked way to well.... suicidal, bisexual, a freak, a comic fan, a social phobic, I don’t think it shows. Do I have to show it? Do I have to wear makeup? Do I have to exercise? What is it I have to do? 

(15 days late)

Not much has changed... specially that feeling I get when I get inside my "select readings" class. This feeling is caused by a though that says: "so this is how low you can get"

(11 days late)